Saturday, July 22, 2006
And now we turn to Mustapha with the weather/war report...
In reporting on the Lebanese-Israeli war, Al Jazeera has adopted the model of the weather report. A man in a suit stands in front of a fullscreen blue-boxed map of Lebanon and Israel and points to places that have been attacked, while maintaining eye contact with the camera; he uses the same sweeping gestures to signify raids by Israeli fighter jets as weathermen ordinarily do to illustrate the movement of storm clouds, hot air and hurricanes. The 23-ton bomb the Israelis dropped over Bourj Barajneh the other night (which flattened the house of a man who gave me a ride home, just an hour later) definitely resembled Hurricane Katrina.
Soon Lebanon will resemble the weather report, after the climate apocalypse:
And here, the conveyor belt has broken down, the Gulf stream has ceased to flow sending northwestern Europe into the ice age, the east coast of the western hemisphere has been flooded in a gigantic tsunami wave and the glacier icecaps have all melted. Mother Nature released a statement saying that she had not intentionally targeted the glaciers, but that weather reporters were hiding there and using it to launch long-range attacks against the moon. A spokesperson for God said that Mother Nature has a right to defend herself and her allies, the moon and the sun, and described the end of the world as... "unfortunate".
Posted by EDB at 4:04 PM