Friday, July 07, 2006

Everyone wants to join AlQaeda

Oh, the terrorist threat. I was shaking in my boots as I read this news item in the New York Daily News about a thwarted plot to bomb the Holland Tunnel and flood lower Manhattan. I hadn't even recovered from the plot to bomb the Sears Tower in Chicago which was prevented by the heroic FBI only a few weeks ago. They arrested a bunch of Haitians in Miami who were doing jumping jacks in a warehouse, studying the Bible and the Koran, and answered in the affirmative when an FBI agent propositioned them to join Al Qaeda. They shrugged and said, "Sure, why the hell not?" He gave them a camera and told them to go film the FBI headquarters. And they did. But they had no weapons, plans or money. But they were thinking evil thoughts. Apparently if you say, I want to join Al Qaeda, even by accident, you're never going to see the light of day again in US and A. If you order a pizza and the person who takes your order asks you, "Would you like to join al Qaeda with that ham & pepperoni triple cheese 16 " pizza?", and you say yes, then you are a TERRORIST. Even if you misunderstood and thought they offered you a complimentary Pina Colada. If you just read this post out loud which includes the phrase, "I want to join AlQaeda", you better make sure you don't have large deposits of cash on you, are sporting a three-day beard or have ever picked up a copy of the Koran or eaten a falafel, for that matter. The plot to bomb the Holland Tunnel was uncovered by monitoring chat rooms. You know those Islamist dating sites. Under "Dreams/Aspirations" someone probably wrote, "Get a degree in urban planning, build a house, raise a family, get a pilot's license, bomb the Holland Tunnel, get rich or die trying".

X: Hi how are you, Fred? What you been up to lately?
Y: Oh, Omar, I'm just fine. The usual. Playing a little ball, went for a hike on sunday, finally cleaned out the garage. My mom's reall been hassling me about it. I was thinking of going to blow up the Holland Tunnel sometime before Labor Day, if I make it to the city with all the coursework I have to complete to get my urban planning degree. What about you?
X: Same old shit. Went to Atlantic City with the boys last week. Lost a fucking fortune on those slot machines. Damn decadence of the West. I was thinking about the Holland Tunnel myself, actually. I drive through that thing every day on my way to work, and I'm always stuck in traffic. It's such a fucking nuisance. I bet a Jew-Crusader engineered that thing.

1 comment:

Bashir said...

sad. funny yet sad.
modhikun moubki as we say in leb