Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Spiritual guidance

According to Naharnet, Israel hacked Hezbollah's Al Manar TV station, and interjected the following message: "Hassan sent men to fight the Israeli army, an army of steel, without preparing them. Stop listening to patriotic hymns for a moment, reflect and bring your feet back to the ground."

Reflect. I command you to reflect, under ceaseless bombardment. Get your yoga mats out. Light some incense. Align your big toes. Stretch. Now breeeeeeathe...

Why does "army of steel" remind me of some Jane Fonda aerobics video from the '80s? Oh that was "Buns of Steel". Not Jane Fonda. Some other floozy. Sorry.

1 comment:

Dr Victorino de la Vega said...

“Reflect and bring your feet back to the ground..” [sic]

Hmm … A case of Levite levitation, maybe?

Or a carefully executed media “blitz” by Yahweh’s Orientalist experts (“Anî speak Arabich fluent. Yitzzraëlîm friendz of fig-eatin camel-man viz towel on the ‘Rishôn’. Shalom Abdul. Peace. Shazam Aleykhêm.”) and other brilliant graduates of <b>The Sherry Shriver School of Advanced Alien Communication.

Frankly, I’m starting to wonder if it's true what they say about Anglo-Israelite eschatology and the long-awaited advent of the Age of Aquarius!

On a second thought tough, with all due respect to UFOs and Mars men, I think we might call it the Age of the Missing Leash.

Opens up a whole range of (not so) hidden meanings
Future generations will remember the reign of George W. Bushmert
As the Age of the Missing Leash: from Abu Ghraib’s Arabivorous German shepherds
To the escaped Israeli anaconda now suffocating the Texan snake-oil salesman who raised it!