Thursday, August 17, 2006

Which international force?

Will the international force to implement UN Resolution 11,798,701 materialize?

Here are some problems I foresee with the current pool of applicants for the new and improved "coalition of the willing":

Turkey: Lebanon is home to the largest Armenian diaspora community in the world. They don't want Turkish troops in their midst, and for good reason.
Potential for lasting peace: Bad. Armenians might take up arms. Why the hell not? Everyone else is doing it.

Indonesia & Malaysia
: Indonesians and Malaysians were outraged by the Israeli aggression against the Lebanese, and many wanted to come wage jihad against Israel. Here's their chance to fight the Zionists.
Potential for lasting peace: Bad. Hezbollah won't tolerate attacks on Israel from Lebanese land, and this could increase tensions between Sunni fundamentalists and the Shia, especially if Ahmed Fatfat keeps his post as Minister of Interior and licenser of Sunni extremist parties.

France: Former colonial power in Lebanon. Represent interests of Christians and their current allies, the March 14th movement; cultural missionaries in uniform.
Potential for lasting peace: Poor. This whole mess (Lebanon) is their fault in the first place.

Italy: Many fans of the Brazilian soccer team are still angry about the World Cup defeat. Violent skirmishes between Italian and Brazilian fans errupted in Beirut.
Potential for lasting peace: Not good. Brazilian flags rival Hezbollah flags in some of the bombed out villages I drove through in the south.

Spain: Spain expelled both the Arabs and the Jews from Andalusia.
Potential for lasting peace: A big no-no.

Australia: Last year, hundreds of white xenophobic beer-guzzling Australians beat up Lebanese immigrants on the beach in Sydney.
Potential for lasting peace: Good. The Lebanese can retaliate against the white Australians on their turf; Australians can keep busy surfing oil spills.

Germany: The German foreign minister already said that they don't want a situation where German troops might face Israeli troops, because of the "past".
Potential for lasting peace: Very good. If the Germans fire at an Israeli soldier, then the Israelis could retaliate by bombing Mercedes and BMW factories in Germany, and occupy Bavaria. They should have done that 60 years ago, instead of sticking it out in Palestine. It's only fair.

Conclusion: Go with the token Fijians and Indians. They won't have to stay long, because the Lebanese are gearing up for another round of civil conflict.
(More on that shortly.)

13 comments:

copy editor said...

Great points. I'm going to link to this later in the day. I had no idea about the Turkey problem you raise.

lara said...

Well, as Spanish I cannot agree ;-) That of the Spanish Catholic kings was long time ago fortunately, and we have now strong ties with arab peoples, as everybody could appreciate when we opposed so fiercely to the war against Iraq now. Despite Bloody Ansar, arab people keep being confident on Spanish people. As you know, the relationship with Israel is not so good right now because our government was very hard condemning the war against Lebanon and the president wore a Palestinian keffiyeh in public...
I think Spain is the most pro-palestinian and right now pro-lebanese country in the whole Europe and the West. The polls show it.
Anyway, I don't trust on UNable Forces. Everybody knows who commands UNs...

Congratulations for your splendid blog.

lara

Z_Z Rocket said...

Estoy de acuerdo Lara...

Spain is not what it was 600 years ago... heck, it isnt what it was 30 years ago.

Bachir Gemayel and his followers in the Kataeb Party were adherents to Francisco Franco and his Phalange movement. But Zapatero and the Socialist party are the complete 180 degree opposite of the fascists.

I for one welcome the Spanish and hope some Latin America countries sign up (we have a large group of Lebanese all over the region here)

Anonymous said...

I've always thought Jewish victims of the Nazis should have been granted the entire state of Bavaria along with a mind-boggling amount of DM as compensation - seriously! Would have made a lot more sense all around.
P.S. Your blog is genius.

saamida said...

hola lara, gracias por el anĂ¡lisis - muy justo. sin embargo, me parece que edb estaba escribiendo en broma... recuerdos

As'ad said...

But you did not discuss the potential conflict between the different cuisines?

Shai said...

the Israelis could [...] occupy Bavaria. They should have done that 60 years ago, instead of sticking it out in Palestine

LOL

I can assure you most Israelis would have no problem with it. It's not too late, though :)

Anonymous said...

I guess that according to the German girl the murder of Hariri was a bad hair day. The war for you was something that took place in your internet cafe.

Anonymous said...

Hey Lara
Get your tung out of Emilys ass and wash it

Mark K said...

undreds of white xenophobic beer-guzzling Australians beat up Lebanese immigrants on the beach in Sydney.

Actually, the beatees were not Lebanese immigrants; only one of them was of Lebanese extraction, though he (somewhat unusually) was an Australian of mixed Lebanese-Aboriginal heritage.

Australia has a massive Lebanese population for its size, but you are quite right that the ADF (whose name I assume is modelled on the IDF) should not come, as it has no Lebanese members and is viciously racist, etc.

Antonio said...

Mmm, italians and brazilians love each other quite a lot and partly so for the common football mania and then there's a bunch of people of italian and lebanes origin au Brasiu: i don't see the point for the lebaneses supporters of each team to have an argument on this :) As for the flags brazilian and Hezbollah share the same colors, true, but i wouldn't draw conclusions on this basis.

All after all we, italians, seem to be the only really committed to the establishment of the international force and i don't get if it's because we are the dumbest around or the more responsible. Even the spaniard are a bit hesitant: que pasa amigos?

Anonymous said...

what the hell do you say of spain, muslims were expelled form peninsula 500 years ago, and it was not spain, it was a reign called castilla. you should learn history. The spanish president Zapatero, the one of century 21st is the only one who has demostrated a strong defense of muslims.

Colette said...

Brilliant!

But the Armenian point is serious. Turkey persistently denies the genocide of the Armenians (massacre of 1,000,000-plus Armenians, well documented in their own archives as well as all over the world), and they have been close allies with Israel (who lobby for them in Washington, D.C., to DENY the genocide -- try to wrap your head around that one!) and now they want to come over as peacekeepers????

No, I don't think so.